Living Dead Girl vs. Christy Lynn

The following divas match is for the Hot Topic Championship of the World!

Living Dead Girl, who could possibly be the pop singer, Lorde,

takes on Christy Lynn,Jerry Lynn's illegitimate Juggalette daughter.

17yr old me just found my prom date!

Christy spars us a Melina skirt split when she gets in the ring, but we still get a little cheek, well more than a little.

Now, before this "match" begins, let's take one final rundown of the wrestlers. LDG is gothed out in head to toe black and looks about 70 lbs. of pale makeup and black eyeliner. Lynn has the wifebeater-knee high socks hardcore 'yarder combo, complete with minimal facepaint; Mickie Knuckles she ain't. 

Lynn charges at LDG, only for lil' miss Goth to throw her hands up and side-step Lynn. She regains composure and Lynn charges at her again with the same results.

Lynn then gets distracted by

Clone's Clone!!!

A fat guy in a black Jason Vorhees mask and cheap Halloween costume lumbers over to the ring. So they cloned a guy and then made a clone of that clone. Cloneception?!

Anywho. Clone squared chokes Lynn and The Hot Topic Queen takes advantages and kind of pushes Lynn down to the mat for the 1-2-3, and you thought the finish to Bigelow-Taylor was lame.

So, Living Deal Girl, who trained you?

Yeah, I don't know either.

Wrestlicious swimsuit minisode

 Fan service theater time on the ol' GORILLAPRESSDRIVER. 

Now before I begin, let me just say that I love Wrestlicious, it's like watching 60's Batman, so camp,but so good.

 Makes me a little sad that I could only find so little full episodes, some might think that as a blessing and would rather have me watch Dory Funk Jr. and Jack Brisco roll around in their underwear for an hour.

 I'd rather stick to the cheesefest.

The bikini reel opens with a reading of Wrestling and Romance, which was also the name of a Japanese promotion run by Tenryu, but that has nothing to do with what is about to happen.

Love is like a bodyslam, you get swept off your feet and turned upside down. There's nothing you can do but fall back down to Earth. Koko B. Ware couldn't of said it better himself.

It sounds just like a PILEDRIVER!

 We then get treated to short clips of various cast members frolicking on the beach in bikinis.

Which includes a very bouncy Glory( Christie Ricci) in her red, white, and blue American Gladiators bikini.

Owner JV Rich even gets in on the action, taking a bodyslam onto the water, something Vince McMahon and The Hulkster were reported(probably) to do every time they'd hit the beach back in the 80's.

This bikini buffoonery ends on Lacey Von Erich and the only thing she's good at when it comes to wrestling.

Wrestlicious episode 4

 Episode 4 of Wrestlicious starts with a recap of the battle royal from episode 3. The "Hoedown Throwdown" as it was called, was to determine the two women who'd face each other for the Wrestlicious title, the final two were Glory(Christie Ricci) and Felony (Bonnie Maxon) It's the All American Girl vs the Con for the Wrestlicious title.

The Applause sign must have had 100 watt bulbs, because the crowd is ecstatic to see the opening clip montage.

 Jimmy Hart is joined by some bird named Savannah, she has a Southern Belle gimmick and talks like Scarlett O'Hara;all this bad acting is giving me the vapors. Brooke Lynn got the boot on account of her hair getting caught in a ceiling fan, according to Jimmy, that is. She was apparently hard to work with, but the Mouth of the South shouldn't fret, because Savannah says, she's easy,which means her mouth is the one that will be going south.

Speak of the Devil and her boobs shall appear. Brooke Lynn is in the doctor's office with a neck brace on, she's wanting to get her hands on Lacey Von Erich, the reason why is unexplained, but maybe it's because Von Erich is fuck awful at wrestling.

Next is a clip of Felony in what has to be one the cheapest greenscreens, my built in webcam has better effects that this. Felony is on lockdown for going through someone's lockbox at the bank and I'm guessing it didn't contain a spider or a world title.

Wrestlicious Heroes comic by Botchedspot.com creator James Hornsby, be sure to check out his site for a good dose of wrestling humor.

Looks like the title match is jerking the curtain tonight. Felony is out first, handcuffed and escorted to the ring by Officer Bubba Rogers

Felony does a mini Sabu freakout for Bubba to uncuff her. The "All American Girl" from Philly,Glory, wastes no time and boots it to the ring, only to get the boots from Felony.

The crowd start up a USA chant, but I'm fairly certain that Louisiana, Felony's homestate, is part of the United States of America. Punches and kicks get traded and I noticed that Glory has the Ultimate Warrior boot tassels. Felony keeps control with more punches and kicks,but Glory takes control with four armdrags.

More USA chants from the crowd before Felony snaps Glory with a middle rope neckbreaker for a two-count. She then puts Glory in a straightjacket surfboard.

Felony breaks her hold and starts a rhythmic choke on Glory, claws her eyes, and chokes her against the middle rope with her thighs.

Felony keeps up the heat with corner strikes and stopping a Glory comeback attempt. She hits another neckbreaker and holds on for a reverse full nelson headlock, the crowd tries to get behind Glory with another USA chant,but the evil foreign heel,Felony, isn't having any of it.

Both women decide to take a snooze after a double cross body ends in a crash. Both are up around five and Glory starts her babyface comeback with some punches, a big clothesline, and a spinning elbow strike. Glory hits a Prince Devitt dropkick and a neckbreaker, but only comes up with a two.

Huh?

Bridging suplex by Felony gets her a two count and Johnny C refers to her as jailbait. Jailbait: A young woman, or women considered in sexual terms, but under the age of consent. Felony was 28 at the time.

More USA chants which finally "Hulks up" Glory; she does a few moves and hits a leg drop after a salute for the win. Your winner and Wrestlicious Champion, Glory!

Felony gets cuffed by Officer Bubba and JV Rich, with Lil Slamm and Cousin Cassie, comes out to present Glory with the title. 

Did I say title? I meant the Wrestlicious Crown, you know, because they're women. Glory joins an elite and prestigious group of wrestling crown wearers, wrestlers like Haku, fat Harley Race, and Billy Gunn.

Glory is excited that she gets to be the pretty,pretty princess of Wrestlicious and cuts a generic thank you, I'll defend against anybody, kiss hands,shake babies promo.

I fast-forwarded through most of her promo and the interruption by Toni The Top. They basically go back and forth and it ends with Toni challenging Glory for the crown later on in the show.



Well, Hellooooooooooooo Nurse! Some blonde in a Power Girl nurse top takes the pulse of some creep. This blonde happens to be Malibu Mackenzie. She likes to ride the surf and the wrestling ring is her home turf, wet or dry, her moves are delicious, cause Malibu is Wrestlicious.

Malibu is played by model/Playboy playmate/blonde with big boobs Lana Kinnear and she's this episode's spotlight.

Take it away fanservice theater!

Time for an update on Bootcamp Bailey on The Young and The Wrestlers

Felony puts the boots to one of Bailey's maggots and then, they're all forced to sleep in the ring for the night, which most of been too much for two of the girls. One of them killed Bailey and then ate the end of her m14 rifle while a second girl watched on in horror, leaving only one maggot standing.

This broad, Emo Leigh.

Second match is Toni The Top challenging newly crowned champ Glory for the Wrestlicious title crown tiara. Every backwoods, backyard, indie promotion in the US has at least one physical championship belt, why does a production that's being backed by a millionaire, too cheap to buy a damn belt?

Wouldn't you know it, all out of time. Match is a no-contest on account that Wrestlicious 30 minutes are up, both women just brawl on the outside and the match ends up being rescheduled.

Just three more videos of 'Licious to watch and then I'm done and moving on.

-Thanks for reading.

N.R.Perez

First Monday Night Raw

January 11th, 1993. Live from the Manhattan Center in New York City, it's the first episode of Monday Night Raw.

Sean Mooney is outside the Manhattan Center and has to give Bobby Heenan the bad news that he's been replaced on commentary. Heenan's replacement is comedian Rob Bartlett, a man who knows nothing about wrestling.

Sex jazz music accompanies the opening montage and then we get the commentary team for the night: Vince McMahon, Rob Bartlett, and Randy Savage.

Vince felt that Savage was getting too old and wanted to lessen his role as an active wrestler. Bartlett immediately shows off his wrestling knowledge by wanting to see "Yokozuma" and he gets his wish; the first match of the night is Koko B. Ware vs. Yoko.

Yoko is still undefeated and Koko is.....well Koko.

Bartlett makes me yearn for Gorilla Monsoon or Jesse Ventura. Vince clues us in on Yoko's weight, which is 505 plus pounds; somewhere, Art Donovan is smiling.


The crowd gets a USA chant against the evil Samoan Japanese and both men work heavy on the stalling. At one point, Yoko stands in the middle of the ring and Koko bumps around him.
This squash ends with Yoko hitting the Banzai drop for the 1-2-3.

Up next is a video package from Bobby Heenan and he's hyping the debut of Narcissus, who turned out to be Lex Luger. Luger came over to the WWF in 1992 and was the coverboy to Vince's bodybuilding fed, The WBF, which is where his alliance with Heenan began. One motorcycle accident later and he re debuts as Narcissus,later changing it to the Narcissist.

Luger also had a loaded forearm gimmick,stemming from his accident. He'd have a decent match with Mr. Perfect at Wrestlemania 9 and then go on to become Hulk Hogan 2.0.

Second match of the night is The Steiner Brothers,Rick and Scott, taking on the masked team of the Executioners.
The Steiners left WCW in November of 1992 and Scott had to vacant the TV title when he made the jump, they didn't last long in the WWF and had a two year stay with two tag title reigns, both were wins over Money Inc.

The Executioners look like they're wearing their finest sweatsuits and pretty much get the crap kicked out of them. One even stumbles when being whipped into the ropes.

The Steiners win this one with an electric chair/bulldog combo and Doink the Clown is heavily featured in the crowd.

Third match of the night is Max Moon, ribbed for her pleasure and straight from Uranus, taking on Shawn Michaels for the Intercontinental (Heavyweight) Championship (of the World).

Moon is being played by Paul Diamond, who is no stranger to filling in and wearing a mask; He also replaced Akio Sato in the Orient Express as the masked Kato.

Sensational Sherri was split from Michaels by this time, but he was still using the Sherri version of his theme song. Bartlett makes a reference to Amy Fisher, even though the WWF was still very kid friendly at the time. It baffles me that Bartlett mentions a case that involved attempted murder, first degree assualt, and statutory rape, but I guess it was funny to him.

The match has a good back and forth to it, with Michaels playing the chicken shit heel and what better way to ruin a decent match than more "humor" from Rob Bartlett. This time he does a terrible bit that he's Mike Tyson calling in live from prison, he just sounds like a tiny man with a New York accent and Tyson, as you may remember, was in prison for RAPE.
Michaels wins with a superkick and side suplex.

Main event time. "Not a Jobber" Damien Demento goes one on one wit da Undataker. Vince verbally kisses Don Imus' ass and audio picks up on Paul Bearer doing his Mickey Mouse sex voice.

Demento looks a little bigger than Taker,maybe not as tall, but he still gets his ass kicked as Taker goes through the motions: Old School, corner choke, jumping clothesline, and no selling.

The deadman gets the win with the Tombstone and we get a shot of some fans who think Bearer should be Mayor of New York, we also get a sighting of wrestling superfan, Vladimir. He's the guy in the ICOPRO sweatshirt, a clear sign that he loves wrestling.

The episode closes with a confrontation between Doink the Clown and Crush. The big man is tired of Doink making kids cry. This feud would explode at Wrestlemania 9 and ended up being a 5-Star match, along with two hearts, and three smiley face suns.