It's getting close to Halloween and what could possibly be spooooooooooookier than watching WWE's bastardized version of ECW?
I'll be rating the matches and segments with the Spook-O-Meter.
Paul Heyman opens the show in one of Vince's old suits and announces the main event of ECW's upcoming PPV, December to Dismember. The main event will be an Extreme Elimination Chamber match.
Anyone who remembers that PPV tries not to and heavily denies watching it.
The bodies hit the floor like it's 2001 forever and immediately cut to the first match.
Kevin" Vampire Dude" Thorn with Booberella Shelly "Ariel" Martinez by his side vs. "The Homicidal, Suicidal, Genocidal, Death-Defying Maniac, and alleged smearier of dog shit on hotel room walls, Sabu!
Sabu flips and flops in and around the ring while Thorn waits to catch him. Shelly alternates between screaming her lungs out and bouncing her tetas at ringside.
All the springboards Sabu could muster can't keep Thorn down, but he picks up a clean win via camel clutch in the middle of the ring.
This match was ok. Sabu is his best when he acts like a pinball. I thought Thorn had some promise to him, and I love anything Shelly Martinez does.
Cut to the back with The Sandman caning a clown, then Tazz gives Joey Styles a noose for Halloween, and Daivari brings out The Great Khali, who's trying his damnedest to not bend his knees.
Daivari is set to wrestle Shannon Moore, who's in his "it's not a phase,mom-Hot Topic-Spencer's Gift-punk rock-Anarchy in The Uk gimmick."
All I can say is that they wrestled in a wrestling match and Daivari won.
I couldn't bring myself to gif an armbar or whatever Wrestling 101 moves they did.
Time for the weekly Kelly Kelly shows some skin segment. The ECW Divas Halloween costume contest.
Never mind that shit,though. Here's Colt Cabana as a fairy.
Trinity is up first with crime scene titties
Ariel is dressed "normal"
and Kelly Kelly is CM Punk Punk
Trinity wins, but Mike Knox, Kelly Kelly's controlling boyfriend, ends the fun and wants Kelly to cover up. What an asshole, not wanting his girl to show off for the crowd and 38 people watching at home.
CM Punk Muay Thai-s Knox out of the ring to end this fuckery. A solid P SPOOPY.
The main event is Rob Van Dam teaming with Thurman "Buttplug" Holly to take on my top boy, Test, and the current ECW champ, bloated Big Show.
It was better than expected and each wrestler got in their signature spots and moves. Oh, and a gorilla whacks RVD with a pipe to give the heels the win.
There's no Scooby gang to unmask the gorilla, so it unmasks itself instead.
IT WAS OLD MAN HEYMAN!
A decent match that continues the story of Heyman trying to screw over RVD. Test was close to reaching maximum roid belly, and Big Show was being booked like a monster again.
Enjoyable show, but the Daivari-Moore match should have been replaced with more Halloween fuckery.
The main event helps tip the scales for the show and it is certified 2SPOOKY!
BOO!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN
