Sparta, a band I've never heard of before open the episode up to a dead crowd and pipped in cheers.
A short video recap of the WSX title match from episode 2 is played, then followed by a pre-taped promo from Vampiro, the WSX Champion. It's your standard dark promo, he's sitting on the floor, saying how the title means more to him than his life.
Enough of that mopey shit, We got us a match!
(Kay)Fabien Kaelin bounces around the ring and announces that the following tag-team match will be one-fall with a 10 minutes time limit, glad to hear that WSX has at least one rule.
From "Any damn trailerpark they please", which could possibly be in West Memphis,Arkansas, the team of Nate Webb and Josh Raymond, the Trailer Park Boyz.
The TPB are managed by Johnny Webb and I'm relieved that he isn't wrestling, I don't think I can stand watching him drop guys on their heads.
The Filth and the Fury,Teddy Hart and Matt Cross, are out next and it's flippity floppity flop time! Lets count how many times somebody goes to the top.
Teddy and Josh start off and a frontface lock leads to a series of wristlock reversals. Double tag and Cross dropkicks Nate Webb while Webb was doing an Ultimo Dragon style corner headstand.
The TPB are managed by Johnny Webb and I'm relieved that he isn't wrestling, I don't think I can stand watching him drop guys on their heads.
The Filth and the Fury,Teddy Hart and Matt Cross, are out next and it's flippity floppity flop time! Lets count how many times somebody goes to the top.
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| Ted Hart loves the pussy |
Spot #1 A Matt Cross split-leg moonsault for a two count.
Cross irish whips Webb into the opposite corner and then hits a leg scissors-facebuster combo that send Webb to the outside, Mdogg fakes an outside dive on a stunned Webb.
Josh Raymond tries a Pearl Harbor, but eats an elbow from Cross, Hart leapfrogs in and is somehow the legal man now, guess AAA rules apply? Hart gets a cradle ddt on Raymond and then a spring board moonsault. Spot#2
Cross follows this up with spot#3: a Corkscrew springboard moonsault
Cross hits a huge frankensteiner and grabs spot#6
I'll just be referring to him as Hombre, or Generico, or both.
His opponent, Teddy Hart's bbf, Jack Evans.
Kaos misses a moonsault and a series of spots take place.
Cross follows this up with spot#3: a Corkscrew springboard moonsault
The commentary team mention again that there's no outside mats.
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| Bill Watts, ahead of his time. |
Hart goes up for spot#4, he tries a moonsault while Cross holds Webb in a backbreaker, but it backfires and he ends up getting two feet in his face.
Hart really starts taking a shellacking, but then thinks to himself, "Why sell? I'm Teddy Hart" so, he hits a flipping tiger driver on Webb, gets grabbed by Raymond and takes a double-underhook shoulderbreaker, what a mouthful!
Meanwhile, Cross goes for spot #5, a doublestomp and gets a two count.
Hart must be tired of wrestling and decides to kill Webb outside the ring via electrocution.
Cross hits a huge frankensteiner and grabs spot#6
Hart follows up with an Open Hart Surgery through a table. Spot#7
Which brings up to the finish and the 8th spot, Cross nailing a shooting star leg drop on Raymond for the 1-2-3.
This match was just a Filth and the Fury showcase, which is ok with me since I don't care for the TPB. It was a fun highspot of a match, highlighted by Hart's more is more philosophy.
Before the second match, we get backstage clips and a video recap of the fued between Luke Hawx and Alkatrazz and Los Pochos Guapos.
These four men will settle their differences in a TLC match:tables,ladders, and cervezas. AY DIOS MIO!
Time for the second match of the night as The White Masked Man, no really that's his name, makes his way down to the ring.
I'll just be referring to him as Hombre, or Generico, or both.
His opponent, Teddy Hart's bbf, Jack Evans.
Hope you want some more flippity flops. Evans starts things off with his breakdance routine, while I'm still stuck trying to do the Crusher.
"A little boogie woogie, a little shuckin and jivin"
Hombre kicks Evans mid bboy stance to get the action underway and take control. Big springboard clothesline by Hombre takes Evans' head off and Jack takes a breather outside.
A series of reversals leads to Hombre hitting a fisherman buster for the 2 count.
Sparta are a waste of commentary space and no where near as enjoyable as Three 6 Mafia. The regular commentary team mention that Jack Evans is undefeated, which is correct, Evans sits at an unprecedented 1-0!
Evans gets back on offense with a springboard moonsault elbow strike for a 2.
Evans sets up a hits the 630 splash for the victory and his undefeated streak is still alive.
Match was meh.
Before the main event, we get a Matt Classic video package. I love the Matt Classic gimmick and I'm glad Colt Cabana continues to use it from time to time.
Main Event time as Hawx/Altrazz are first out
LPG hit the ring in what should be a HUGE spotfest of awesomeness
This shit is hard to call, so it's time for glorious gifs!
A baseball slide doesn't score LPG any points.
They get a measure of revenge with this ladder seesaw spot.
Aguilera's weakness comes out with this planted mamacita.
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| "Aren't you the guy who stabbed John Cena in a nightclub?" |
Kaos gets the table and Aguilera grabs the beer.
Some communication between the LPG cost them the match as Kaos gets a face full of beer bottles and then powerbombed through a table. 1-2-3, Hawx and Alkatrazz get the win.
Thanks for reading
-N.R.Perez
On a different note, I might be permanently switching over to wordpress, I'm going to give them a try and see how I like it.
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