Wrestlicious Episode 2

It's Wrestlicious Takedown Episode 2 time and we start off with an extended montage.

The never aging Jimmy Hart and Leyla Milani open the show. Jimmy wants Leyla in his stable,like he doesn't have enough jobbers with The Mountie and Nasty Boys. Leyla wants Jimmy in her stable though, her horse stable that is. She jokes that Jimmy would be shoveling horse manure, the same as he's doing now.

Canned laughter and Shau-Na-Na drives down to the ring with her two forgettable partners.

Not as cool as the Honky Tonk Man's Wrestlemania 4 entrance, but hey, they're working with a budget here.

Shau-Na-Na claims that her and her Be-Bops are straight from the 50's, just picture Deuce and Domino, only all female and without the ugly valet, sorry Cherry.

The girls are very old school and cite wrestlers like Gorgeous George,Bobo Brazil, and Killer Kowalski as their inspirations. They would of been better off being inspired by WCW's Gorgeous George, the former stripper and valet of Randy Savage. She would of been a perfect fit for Wrestlicious.

 

A caddy-load of 50's slang and jokes and we'll see you later, alligator. A graphic of the main event, or only event as this will be a segment filled episode, is displayed next.

Marley(Daizee Haze) the hippie will be taking on Sierra Sheraton, a parody of Paris Hilton. Remember that Wrestlicious was in 2010 and Hilton was old news by then. So, the Sheraton character is just another outdated joke.

Back from a commercial break and we go to JV's crib. Toni the Top brings Autumn Frost along with her and this is starting to look like the beginning of a cheap porn.

JV slams the door in their faces and Frost lets out a shriek!

A Wrestlicious Wrewind of a match I haven't seen yet. Just highlights of White Magic(RoH's Lacey) the voodoo mistress and possibly Papa Shango's mistress as well, Daffney in her debut as Draculetta, cheerleader Amber Lively(Madison Rayne) and oh good fuck, Lacey Von Erich. I have no fucking clue when this match happened,but I'll track it down for review.

We then get a poem that would rival the words of Lanny Pofo: Love is like a clothesline, hits you hard when you least expect it and it knocks you for a loopy daze.

I take back my comment about this being like Hee Haw, it's more like Tuesday Night Titans and with that being said, time for The Young and the Wrestlers.

Did you know that a wrestling porn was made back in 1988? The title was The Young and the Wrestling, coincidence?

Bootcamp Bailey, Wrestlicious's military character, has some new recruits and she gets Autumn Frost, Felony, and Maria Toro to train them. One of her maggots takes a walloping from Frost and their punishment is to clean a hottub with toothbrushes.

More filler comedy and my best guess is that Bailey is played by some unknown model.

This episode's spotlight is on Tyler Texas(SHIMMER's Lorelei Lee)

Shau-Na-Na and her Be-Bops are in what looks like a Mel's Dinner and now I'm hungry for D-grade steak and eggs.

Johnny C bursts into the girls locker room and they job him out and walk away. I forgot to mention that Kandi Kisses is Lizzy Valentine, this marks her second appearance, along with Daffney, Lacey Von Erich, and Madison Rayne, on the GORILLAPRESSDRIVER.

Are You Smarter than A Male Wrestler? It's Marley vs. the Cuban Assassin. Man, Scott Steiner would kick ass at this game.

The first and last match of the night, Sierra Sheraton hits the ring first and is followed by Marley. Marley pulls a Dhalsim and Sierra Pearl Harbors her.

A lot of stalling and working the crowd, I won't go into too many details as it's stalling, rest holds, stalling, work the crowd, rinse, wash, and repeat.

Sheraton tries to use her height, but Marley outsmarts her by jumping for outstretched hand, now if only the Undertaker had used this tactic against Giant Gonzalez, both men were former basketball players.

Marley works Sheraton's long arms and hits a big headscissors takedown. Sheraton recovers and slams Marley down for a one count.

Standard heel fair from Sheraton and Marley reverses for a rollup and a two count. Sierra comes back and get a 2 count of her own.

More corner chokes by Sheraton, Marley gets a victory roll, but comes up short at two.

Sheraton ends the match and picks up the win with a big boot straight to Marley's face.

This series of Wrestlicious reviews will be short, I only found a couple episodes online and a lot of matches that weren't featured. I plan on taking a break from Wrestlicious, possibly from all writing as I'm about to go back to college in a couple of days.

- N.R.Perez.