Time to fire up the hard-drive and get this homoerotic horror film over with.
Yes, Nightmare 2 has the reputation as being the gayest horror film ever made, and I'd like to say that it's fine if you're straight, gay, bi, or none of the above. If I comment on something being gay, I in no way equate it with negativity, and with all that being said, let's do it to it.
Film opens with the title, Freddy's Revenge, slamming onto the screen like it's an action film.
Credits of the main cast:
Mark Patton plays the lead character Jesse. Robert Rusler as Ron Grady, Jesse's friendly rival, and Kim Myers as Lisa Webber, Jesse's love interest.
Two little tidbits about Myers.
1. She looks like Meryl Streep.
2. She would go on to star in another sub-par horror sequel, Hellraiser 4, directed by the great Alan Smithee.
We've got Crow T. Robot on Clu Gulager alert.
Robert Englund cameos as the bus driver. The only kids left on the bus are milquetoast Jesse and two girls that are mocking him.
The bus speeds past one of the girls' stop, the music picks up too, letting us know that something's not right.
Freddy takes the bus off-road through the desert and it ends up on two rock pillars after the ground around it collapses.
New Line isn't messing around this time, having Freddy appear six minutes into the film in all his glory.
Jesse wakes up screaming and covered in sweat, which is apparently becoming the norm for how he wakes. After a quick chat with his family, Lisa comes over and Jesse takes them both to school in his beat up car.
During pe that day, Jesse and Grady get to grappling while playing baseball. Grady's first move is to pull down Jesse's pants, he must be an Australian dick wrestling champ.
Their punishment is to stay in a push-up position until coach Schneider says otherwise. Grady tells Jesse that Schneider is a sadist and likes to hang around gay S&M bars.
Jesse's nightmare that night is Freddy telling him that he needs him! Jesse has the body and Freddy's got the brain!
The next day, Jesse planned on going see Lisa, but Clu lays down the law and wants him to finally finishing unpacking his room as they've been living there for some time.
This all leads to the rare dance montage in a horror movie.
His popgun goes pop right when his mother and Lisa come through his door. Lisa helps him unpack and finds an old diary of Nancy's right next to a board game called probe.
I would talk about them reading Nancy's diary and whatnot, but I have to point out that Jesse has a "No out of town chicks" sign on his door. You can tell it was checks and he covered the e with an i. Jesse either doesn't want girls in his room or just ones from out of town?
Jesse's third nightmare is "waking up" in The Persistence of Memory. He heads down to the basement and finds Freddy's glove in the furnace.
After an uneventful day at school, Jesse comes home to find the family birds going apeshit. One dies and the other goes on the attack against Clu, eventually com-busting.
Instead of a nightmare, Jesse sleepwalks to Don's Place for a beer, getting stopped by leather-clad coach Schneider. Coach makes him run laps in the school gym, but he gets killed shortly thereafter by various sports balls and a getting his bare ass whipped.
After being brought home by the cops, Jesse starts to look rough and tired, drinking a big cup of coffee in the morning. He presses his dad about the history of the house and the toaster goes up in flames to end the argument.
Later that day, Lisa has Jesse take them to an abandoned power plant, the one where Freddy Krueger use to work at, it's also where he killed all his victims.
In what I consider the best, and maybe only, good scene in the movie, we get a first person Evil Dead camera work. Starting from the furnace and ending above Jesse's sleeping sister.
Freddy tells her to wake up, but it's Jesse standing over her, telling her to go back to sleep.
Bringing us to the last act.
It Lisa's weekend pool party and Jesse would rather leave than be there, making me wonder why go in the first place?
Lisa does manage to get Jesse alone and they start making out.
While rounding the bases with Lisa, Jesse gets a Gene Simmons tongue and runs off to go bunk with Grady.
At Grady's, Jesse wants him to watch him sleep in case something Freddy like would happen. I don't know what good Grady is and if Jesse didn't come over, Grady's death scene wouldn't have followed.
Freddy burst through Jesse's body and quickly deposes of Grady, then Jesse is back in control and bolts back to Lisa's to confess what's been happening to him.
"He's inside me and he wants to take me again."
The eerie music kicks in and shit starts going weird:
The pool starts to boil, hot dogs catch fire and explode on the grill, and the most horrifying of all, the beer brand beer cans pop and spray everywhere.
Freddy full takes over Jesse and starts wrecking shit at the pool party, causing the place to become an inferno with random fire shooting up.
Freddy leaves after Lisa's shotgun-wielding dad shows up and Lisa goes after him. She heads to the power plant from earlier, passing a pair of human-faced dogs and later, some mutant rats.
Finally confronting Freddy in a lame duck finish, she loves Jesse and this causes Freddy to start bleeding.
So, if Freddy Krueger posses someone you know, you just need to express your love for that person in order to defeat Freddy.
They share a kiss and it causes the damn place to go up in flames.
Jesse climbs up from the ashes of Freddy and the power of love defeated evil, score one for Huey Lewis.
Ending almost like the first Nightmare film ended; Jesse walks out the door of his house, his mother behind him, he gets on the school bus from the beginning, and sits by Lisa. Why not take your car?
CAUSE THIS IS A BUS TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!
Join me next time for the best movie in the series and the return of Nancy Thompson in.......
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