Friday, July 21, 2017

Wrestling Society X Episode 6







 Episode 6 of Wrestling Society X will finally see a clash between Vampiro and Ricky Banderas, but not before the damn ring explodes again, plus Fabian Kaelin does magic.


Scorpio Sky vs. Jack Evans is the opening contest.
Good Charlotte joins the commentary team. They were a popular pop punk band back in the earlier 2000s, or do people still remember them and I wrote that for nothing? I digress.


Sky tries to use his size advantage against Evans, slowing things down with submission holds, but Evans is able to flip and flop his way to a win.



Overall: For a show where every match is in fast forward, this was worth a watch. Sky does a dragon sleeper and Evans uses his body like a pinball. Check it out.


Cut to the back with Joey Kaos and Aaron Aguilera.
Aguilera, or the guy who stabbed John Cena in a night club, catches The Disco Machine trying to mack on the mamacitas that he lined up for Kaos and himself.


Second match of the night is That 70's Team (Joey Ryan and The Disco Machine) vs. D.I.F.H. (Tyler Black and Jimmy Jacobs) They were doing it for her, the her was never revealed.
Black is known today as Seth Rollins and Jacobs is a member of WWE creative, credited for coming up with The List of Jericho.


70's Team get the heat early and double team Jacobs, but Black eventually gets back in the ring and D.I.F.H. utilize more creative double team moves.


After some miscommunication, Disco Machine picks up the win for team with a top rope belly to belly suplex.
If WSX matches were in fast-forward, then this match was in turbo. 
Also, it wouldn't be a Joey Ryan match unless his ass got out.


Phantom of the Opera Banderas throws Kailen out of the ring and calls out Vampiro. Vamp obliges but gets Pearl Harbor-ed by Syxx Pac.

Youth Suicide, who hasn't been seen since episode 1, I think, runs out to help Vampiro, but gets tossed around by Banderas and possibly murdered.


The build to Vampiro-Banderas continues and with only four episodes left, the payoff should be soon.

Monday, May 1, 2017

TNA IMPACT 5-21-2009: Mick Foley vs. the fan's intelligence




The go home IMPACT for Sacrifice 2009 opens with Jeff Jarrett. Cause it's his world.

Jarrett claims the final spot in Foley's upcoming world title defense at Sacrifice. Yes, Mick Foley was the World Champion of a televised wrestling promotion in 2009.


Foley eventually hobbles down the ramp, heels it up for a bit, and goads Double J into putting his shares of TNA on the line at Sacrifice. Jarrett agrees and then Foley starts making matches for everyone involved in the Sacrifice four way:

Eric Young vs. Sting
Matt Morgan vs. Kurt Angle
Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Jarrett
and a mystery former world heavyweight champ vs. Foley.


Cut to the back and Kurt Angle is looking for fellow Main Event Mafia member Sting. Scott Steiner of all people, is trying to calm him down. No words were exchanged about Angle's chances of winning at Sacrifice  now that Jeff Jarrett was added to the mix.


The Main Event Mafia were a heel group consisting of former world champions, former WWF and WCW world champions that is.

Next segment is Chris Daniels and Suicide being interviewed by The Golf Channel's Lauren Thompson. The rest of the X Division have been trying to unmask the video game character come to life, claiming that it's actually Daniels under the mask.


Who is Suicide? 
The star of TNA's ill-fated video game was first portrayed by Kazarian, but he got a boo-boo and Daniels got thrown into the monkey suit. Kaz would heal up and go under the mask again and the moniker would continued to be passed down like the Doink the Clown gimmick. Caleb Konley is the current man in the mask for Impact Wrestling. 



First match of the night is a three team X-Division tag match.
Lethal Consequences, the team of "Black Machismo" Jay Lethal and Consequences Creed(now known as Xavier Woods in WWE) are the first team out.

The Motor City Machine Guns are out next. Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin were able to wear their IWGP Junior Heavyweight tag titles to the ring as TNA and New Japan had a working relationship at the time.

DanielSide are the final team in this match and Daniels starts things off. He continually gets cut off from Suicide by the other two teams. The rules were never established, but only two men are in the ring at once, so both members of one team are always on the apron.


The heels finally break down over who gets the win, giving Daniels a chance to get back in this. Desperation tag made to Suicide, who hits some goofy looking Skoryukens and ends with a Finn Balor dropkick.


Match breaks down into a spot fest and everyone gets their shit in.

The finish sees Suicide blocking a sliced bread attempt by Shelley, who eats a middle rope codebreaker for his troubles. Suicide gets the win for his team and then disappears when the lights go off. 


Second match of the night is Eric Young vs. Sting.
This was during one of Young's "take me serious" phase. Even though he's in a heel group, Sting still works like a face, shaking Young's hand before the bell rings.

Two lockups lead to nothing and then both men miss Stinger Splashes. Young gets whipped into a corner and they do the Flair spot, getting a whooo from the crowd.


Commentary team of Mike Tenay and Don West bring up Foley's mystery opponent.
Young gets in some offense before dropping to the mat to let Sting submit him with the Scorpion Deathlock. It was suppose to be a missed dropkick, but the timing was off.


Jeremy Borash plugs the TNA textline and tries to get some info out of Mick Foley, but it's all double talk for a nothing cheap plug.

Match three is wizard-caped Matt Morgan vs. Kurt Angle.
Angle comes out with a single red rose, possibly ready to express his love to Morgan.


Morgan muscles Angle around, hitting all the big man moves and sends Angle to the outside with a super Kevin Nash leapfrog body guillotine.

Commentary brings up Foley's former world champion opponent again, one who never wrestled for TNA before.
Angle takes Morgan to Suplex City, but couldn't get the Angle Slam and ends up taking a big boot for a two count.

Angle picks up the win after small packaging out of the hellevator.
I've been skipping through most of the backstage segments as they're all hype pieces for Sacrifice.
One I couldn't pass up is Jenna Morasca trash talking Sharmell. Morasca is a former winner of Survivor, she won in 2003 and somehow, someone in TNA thought she would still be relevant six years later. 

In storyline, she was the financial backer of the Main Event Mafia and started to clash with Sharmell, Booker T's wife. This would culminate in one of the worst wrestling matches ever, going 5:49 against Sharmell at Victory Road 2009.

Penis-faced Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Jarrett is match four.


Jarrett's left leg is wrapped up thanks to an injury from an empty arena brawl with Foley.
The match never starts as they brawl into the crowd and eventually back to ringside. Joe tries to kick Jarrett's leg out of his leg and then starts whacking him with a chair, getting the match thrown out.


Now for the big mystery reveal and the main event match. Mick Foley vs. a former world champion.
Foley does his crowd pandering and then introduces his opponent.

A cardboard cut out of Rocky Balboa.


I was actually watching this episode back in 2009 and against any same and rational judgment, I continued to follow TNA for another year.

"Rocky" gets in a couple of punches and then Foley starts to wrestle a piece of cardboard.


Jarrett, Angle, and Sting come out for a brawl and Foley hobbles away after being the last man standing.



Friday, January 27, 2017

Wrestling Society X Episode 5


Episode five of Wrestling Society X opens with a recap of Ricky Banderas throwing a fireball in Vampiro's face from the end of episode four.


The future Mil Muertes has taken umbrage with Vampiro because of an exploding casket; The Acme Corporation strikes again.

The rapper Jibbs is the guest commentator  tonight. 'Member Jibbs?


Some years have passed since I first started these reviews and WSX's ring announcer/ carnival barker has been a very busy man. Fabian Kaelin, as played by Ryan Katz, has appeared on WWE RAW as 
Stylez Monroe in Kane and Daniel Bryan's brilliant anger management segments.


In May 2015, Katz became a creative producer for WWE's NXT brand and has appeared on screen again, first as The Lemon, a member of Adam Rose's Rosebuds.

Secondly, being the barker featured in the titantron for The Vaudevillians.




After Kaelin does his spiel and the damn ring posts explode again, we get our first match of the night; a tag match pitting Team Dragon Gate(Yoshini and Horiguchi)



against The Filth and The Fury, the team of Straight-Edge Matt Cross and pot smoker extraordinaire Teddy Hart.
 

Hart and Yoshini start things off by trading arm drags, Japanese and otherwise, double tag is made and the spots start.
Cross fakes a suicide plancha and proceeds to parkour.


Jibbs is just happy to be there, barely pipping in unless prompted.

Team Dragon Gate start double teaming Cross once the action is back in the ring, but Cross comes back with the Jackie Chan and a fireman's carry neckbreaker, or if you want to be fancy, an ushigoroshi.

Commentary mentions that every match is falls count anywhere, something I don't remember, but it's been awhile, and on that note, it's time to go home.


Teddy Hart hits a flipping tiger driver and then both Filth and Fury perform stereo top rope splashes; a shooting star press and a corkscrew senton.

The Lovely Lacey of Ring of Honor is backstage with Scorpio Sky, fresh off his loss from Matt Sydal in episode 4. Sky challenges Jack Evans to a match, as Evans defeated Sydal and Sydal defeated him.
Shut up Harold!

Second match of the night is the Human Tornado vs 6-Pac. Tornado is out for revenge for being laid-off by Pac in the last episode.


Tornado wastes little time, kicking Pac out of the ring and following up with a flip, nearly landing on his feet.

They brawl a bit outside before getting back in the ring. Pac is able to gain control with the Bronco Buster, but misses a second attempt, letting Tornado have a House Party.


A battle on the top turnbuckle ends with a super X-Factor and the win for 6-Pac.


During a commercial break, Team Dragon Gate get abducted by some guys in a white van, possibly the same guys who kidnapped Samoa Joe.


Tonight's main event is the masked Delikado vs Arik Cannon.


Delikado is South California mainstay B-Boy, another WSX alumnus who would be a part of Lucha Underground; B-Boy portrayed Bael, the guy Matanza ate.

Delikado Pearl Harbors Cannon and commentary mentions that he never talks so he can never be called a snitch.

This match is cut short about ten moves in due to interference from a group of men we would later learn are The Cartel.
  
Cannon is double-stomped through a table, has his head shoved in wet cement, and finally, the final insult, a dead fish placed on his chest.























A dead fish named Lana

Friday, October 7, 2016

Freddy Metal: Krueger vs. Dokken



I was born in 1990, so glam/hair metal bands were all but dead by the time I started to listen to music on my own. After watching this video, I'm a little sad that I missed out.


The video Dream Warriors by Dokken is a rework of the opening scene from the movie.

This time around, Kristen is making a Dokken house.

She falls asleep in wakes up in dream world right when lead guitarist George Lynch starts riffing away.

Like in the movie, Kristen walks into the house after the little girl. 
She goes downstairs and watches the drummer play in the furnace, who isn't bothered by the surrounding flames and Kristen doesn't show any concern either.


World's tinniest drummer is a good attention grabbing gimmick to separate yourselves from similar bands. I mean, Kid Rock did have a rapping midget when he first got famous.


Instead of running into Freddy in the hallway, Kristen bumps into the lead singer and another Dokken dude.
In place of the Freddy snake that tries to eat her, George Lynch bursts through the wall and lays a solo on Kristen.
She looks awestruck, as if Jesus Christ returned, picked up an electric guitar and started wailing away.


Buzzkill Freddy snatches Lynch and Kristen follows after them.

Kristen catches up to Freddy, but Dokken pops up too, starting with midget drummer.


Freddy is no match for the rocking power of Dokken, and in ironic fashion, wakes up; the video being his nightmare, not Kristen's.


Join me next time as I watch Kristen 2.0 take on Freddy in Nightmare 4: The Dream Master.


Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)



Nightmare 2 was a mediocre film, but viewed as a standalone film and it isn't as bad as it's made out to be. 
It was a financial success though, grossing $30 million on a $3 million budget.

New Line didn't like the critical response the film received and sought to rectify this problem; Wes Craven was brought back in to provide a screenplay.

Craven and  writing partner Bruce Wagner's treatment for Nightmare 3 was re-written into the version we now know by Frank Darabont and Chuck Russell.

Darabont would go on to direct The Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile, and The Mist, and helped develop and produce The Walking Dead on AMC.

Chuck Russell would direct and co-write The Blob remake the following year in 1988 and has only helmed a select number of projects: The Mask, Eraser, and The Scorpion King.


"Sleep.
Those little slices of Death.
How I loathe them."
-Edgar Allen Poe



Film opens with Patricia Arquette as our lead, Kristen, making a paper mache model of Nancy's house.
She's desperate to stay awake, cranking up Dokken on her tape player and chasing a scoop of Maxwell House instant coffee grounds with diet coke.


If only New Line went after Jolt Cola to be used instead, it had "all the sugar and twice the caffeine."

Kristen's mom comes in the room, back from a night out on the town. She and Kristen's now absent father were some of the parents that set Freddy on fire.

While her mother forces her to go to sleep, we learn that Kristen has been having bad dreams, but Kristen's mom has a man to entertain downstairs and doesn't want to hear any of it.


Kristen falls asleep and wakes in front of the mache house she made. She runs after a little girl that went inside, eventually catching up to her and gets chased by Freddy.

After barely avoiding a swiping Freddy, Kristen bumps into a hanging body filled in a room of hung bodies, then looks down to see the little girl is a skeleton.

Fortunately she wakes up from her nightmare..........into another nightmare. Freddy slices one of her wrists, while in reality, Kristen took a razor to herself.


Youth suicide was on the rise at the time and considered a taboo subject to make any mention of.

Cut to the Westin Hills Psychiatric hospital. Max the orderly, played by Laurence Fishburn, is listening to the local news on the radio, reports of two more teenage deaths, suicide determined to be the case.

Max shares a theory he has on this with Dr. Gordon. It's fucked up chromosomes, according to Max; the kids parents dropped too much acid in the 60s and now it's effecting their children.
Dr. Gordon shares colleague's, Dr. Simms, theory: too much sex,drugs, and rock n'roll, which Max thinks is the only reasons to live.

Dr. Gordon passes some of the patients in the hallway; Taryn, who doesn't say anything and hurries away, Jennifer, who shares her variety of cigarette burns, and Philip, who runs past Gordon and Jennifer.
Gordon and the aforementioned Dr. Simms look in on Kincaid, a patient in the rubber room.


Kristen's intake to the hospital is going fine till they try to sedate her. The standoff ends with the reintroduction of Nancy Thompson.


Nancy is the hospital's new resident and she trades pleasantries with Dr. Gordon outside in the hospital's grounds. Gordon spots a nun after Nancy goes back into the hospital and the nun disappears as people walk by her.

Back inside the hospital, Max gives Nancy a tour and proper introduction to Philip, a sleepwalker who likes to make marionettes, and Kincaid, who makes it a habit of getting tossed in the quiet room.

Joey is another patient; a mute who has the hots for one of the nurses and a drawn-on teardrop under his eye.


Whilst in a nightmare, Kristen pulls Nancy into her dream with her, but not before being half way eaten by a Freddy snake.


Nancy stabs its eye and she escapes with Kristen, they talk about Kristen's apparent power the next morning.

Group that day introduces Will, who's wheelchair bound after a suicide jump, and Taryn is a junkie, probably heroin.

Freddy's first victim is Philip. Freddy becomes one of the marionettes and then turns Philip into one by stringing up his veins.



Philip's death gets written off as an accident and then a suicide when the kids claim that Philip was awake. This doesn't sit right with Kincaid and he gets put in the quiet room again.


Night falls and Jennifer is the next victim, well I guess Zsa Zsa Gabor is actually next.

Freddy welcomes that bitch, Jennifer, to prime time and the mystery nun appears again at Jennifer's funeral the next day.
Mystery nun says some jazz about cleansing the unwanted spirit to Gordon and disappears again.

Nancy holds a group session and tells the remaining kids why Freddy is after them, that they're the last of the Elm St. children.

They try a controlled hypnosis experiment next, resulting in Joey going after hot nurse lady, Will standing up and declaring himself Wizard Master in his dreams. Kristen does gymnastics, Kincaid bends a chair, and Taryn becomes a punker.

Meanwhile, hot lady nurse seduces Joey and tongue-ties him to a bed.

Freddy goes after the rest of the group, but Dr. Simms barges into the room, ending the hypnosis session. Gordon and Nancy are fired because of the recent events, and the disappearing reappearing nun appears once more to Gordon.

Mystery nun gives Freddy's origins to Gordon: He's the abomination of a nun being raped  by a 100 maniacs, just 9900 short of a 10,000. 

Nancy and Gordon go to meet Nancy's dad, the only person who knows where Freddy's bones are buried. He's an alcoholic now and a security guard and doesn't want to help.

Gordon is able to convince him and they head off to the junkyard where Freddy's bones are, while Nancy goes back to the hospital to lead Taryn, Kincaid, Kristen, and Will in the dream world and rescue Joey.

Kristen has deja vu of the first scene, but this time around, Freddy wants to know where the fucking bourbon is?
 
She backflips her way out of her room and into Nancy's old house. 
Cut to Taryn getting into a knife fight with Freddy, but she succumbs to a lethal dose of "drugs".

Will gets offed next, but I don't really care.

Meanwhile, Gordon and Poppa Thompson fight a Ray Harryhausen skeleton at the junkyard, with John Saxon not using any of his Enter the Dragon skills.


In dream world, Nancy, Kristen, and Kincaid rescue Joey and escape from Freddy. Joey starts talking again after yelling and breaking the hallway of mirrors that Freddy was appearing in and snatching his friends into.

Freddy pulls a Darth Helmet, fooling Nancy with an illusion of her father.

She isn't dead yet and holds off Freddy from attacking Kristen, while in the real world, Dr. Gordon pours holy water on Freddy's bones, defeating him.


Dr. Gordon sees the nun one last time at Nancy's funeral. He follows her till she disappears at a headstone, the headstone of Amanda Krueger, Freddy's mother and the nun's real name.

The movie ends after that revelation, no stinger or tease of a sequel. Freddy was laid to rest, for now at least.