WWECW 10-31-2006

It's getting close to Halloween and what could possibly be spooooooooooookier than watching WWE's bastardized version of ECW?

I'll be rating the matches and segments with the Spook-O-Meter.

Paul Heyman opens the show in one of Vince's old suits and announces the main event of ECW's upcoming PPV, December to Dismember. The main event will be an Extreme Elimination Chamber match.

Anyone who remembers that PPV tries not to and heavily denies watching it.

The bodies hit the floor like it's 2001 forever and immediately cut to the first match.

Kevin" Vampire Dude" Thorn with Booberella Shelly "Ariel" Martinez by his side vs. "The Homicidal, Suicidal, Genocidal, Death-Defying Maniac, and alleged smearier of dog shit on hotel room walls, Sabu!

Sabu flips and flops in and around the ring while Thorn waits to catch him. Shelly alternates between screaming her lungs out and bouncing her tetas at ringside.

All the springboards Sabu could muster can't keep Thorn down, but he picks up a clean win via camel clutch in the middle of the ring.

This match was ok. Sabu is his best when he acts like a pinball. I thought Thorn had some promise to him, and I love anything Shelly Martinez does.

Cut to the back with The Sandman caning a clown, then Tazz gives Joey Styles a noose for Halloween, and Daivari brings out The Great Khali, who's trying his damnedest to not bend his knees.

  
Daivari is set to wrestle Shannon Moore, who's in his "it's not a phase,mom-Hot Topic-Spencer's Gift-punk rock-Anarchy in The Uk gimmick."


All I can say is that they wrestled in a wrestling match and Daivari won.

I couldn't bring myself to gif an armbar or whatever Wrestling 101 moves they did.

Time for the weekly Kelly Kelly shows some skin segment. The ECW Divas Halloween costume contest.

Never mind that shit,though. Here's Colt Cabana as a fairy.

Trinity is up first with crime scene titties

Ariel is dressed "normal"

and Kelly Kelly is CM Punk Punk

Trinity wins, but Mike Knox, Kelly Kelly's controlling boyfriend, ends the fun and wants Kelly to cover up. What an asshole, not wanting his girl to show off for the crowd and 38 people watching at home.

CM Punk Muay Thai-s Knox out of the ring to end this fuckery. A solid P SPOOPY.

The main event is Rob Van Dam teaming with Thurman "Buttplug" Holly to take on my top boy, Test, and the current ECW champ, bloated Big Show.

It was better than expected and each wrestler got in their signature spots and moves. Oh, and a gorilla whacks RVD with a pipe to give the heels the win.

 There's no Scooby gang to unmask the gorilla, so it unmasks itself instead.

IT WAS OLD MAN HEYMAN!

A decent match that continues the story of Heyman trying to screw over RVD. Test was close to reaching maximum roid belly, and Big Show was being booked like a monster again.

 Enjoyable show, but the Daivari-Moore match should have been replaced with more Halloween fuckery.

The main event helps tip the scales for the show and it is certified 2SPOOKY! 

BOO!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Awesome Kong's $25,000 Challenge

IMPACT May 22nd, 2008

After tearing through the Knockout Division in devastating fashion, Awesome Kong and her manager, Raisha Saeed, issue an open challenge: $25,000 if you can beat Awesome Kong.

Threatened with Kong "destroying" him, Jeremy Borash reluctantly pulls out a liability waiver and asks if there's any 18+ female volunteers in the crowd.

After the camera pans around the crowd, JB picks out a victim, I mean volunteer. I'd like to apologize to "Melissa the fan", as I don't recognize her and Google yielded no results.

If you can distract yourself from referee Slick Johnson and his shorts with high sock combo, you'll see Kong maul this woman around the ring.

IMPACT May 29th, 2008

Another episode of IMPACT and another challenge. The formalities happened during the commercial break, and this week's challenger is Leva Bates!

The future Blue Pants gets rag dolled around by her hair the entire time, drawing some sympathy from crowd and getting Kong some boos, as opposed to first week where the crowd chanted "Kong is gonna kill you!"

IMPACT June 5th 2008

Googled-eyed JB leads Saeed and Kong to the ring for the third week of Kong's open challenge.

After scoping out the audience again, JB calls down three women this time to ringside, and instead of "fans", he gets Amber O'Neil, Becky Bayless, and Daffney.

Kong and Saeed decide on Daffney, who pops in a mouth-guard and puts on some MMA gloves.

Daff tries to put up a fight, but Kong catches her mid-strike and goes All-Japan on the Scream Queen.

SLAMMIVERSARY June 8th, 2008

Kong takes her challenge to pay per view as well, first squashing Serena Deeb and then Josie "SoJo Bolt" Robinson.

Serena puts up her dukes and tries a double leg take-down and Kong continues her strategy of throwing her opponents around by their hair.

Flattening Serena with her implant buster wasn't enough for Kong. She tries to intimidate Josie, who signs the waiver and starts to brawl with Kong.

Kong batters Josie around the ring, but misses a strike and hits the ring post instead, giving Josie an opportunity to get in some offense. This doesn't last long as Kong ends Josie's chance with a lariat and sit-out powerbomb.

On the June 19th, 2008 episode of IMPACT, Kong continued her open challenge. Unfortunately, I was unable to find footage of the episode, but the challenger that night was Taylor Wilde, a former WWE developmental wrestler, who had been in the crowd for previous challenges.

Wilde must have fared better than previous challengers, because she would be back next week and Kong wasn't happy to see her.

IMPACT June 26th, 2008

After making short work of her challenger, Kong spots Wilde in the crowd and the two start to brawl. Jim Cornette, TNA's on-screen management at the time, breaks them up with security and escorts Wilde to the back. 

IMPACT July 3rd, 2008

Taylor Wilde is back in the IMPACT Zone once again. This time having to wrestle Saeed to earn another shot against Awesome Kong. Wilde makes short work of Saeed and gets her second chance.

IMPACT July 10th, 2008

Kong charges straight at Wilde and tries to put her away quickly.

Taylor doesn't back down from Kong,either using her quickness to evade Kong or just take a beating and get back up.

Before the commercial break, Roxxi comes down to ringside to support Wilde.

Kong continues to smash Wilde all around the six-sided ring, but she misses a Bret's rope big splash and Wilde seizes her opening with three dropkicks, finally taking Kong off her feet.

A Three Stooges spot gets Wilde a near win.

To the shock of everyone, Kong included, Wilde kicks out of the implant buster. Then she slips out of the Awesome Bomb and scouts Kong's strike combo for a roll-up, the win, $25,000, and the Knockouts Championship.

VICTORY ROAD July 13th, 2008

Kong bull rushes Wilde, but Taylor uses her speed to evade Kong.

Awesome Kong gets control and starts rag-dolling Wilde around like a jobber.

Kong takes a page out of The Iron Sheik's book and tries to humble Wilde, Old Country Way.

Taylor Wilde continues her game-plan of taking a beating and then slipping and sliding out of Kong's grip.

Wilde gets the upset again. This time by reversing a chokeslam and getting the roll-up win.

Post-match: Saeed and Kong stomp Wilde out in the ring until a recently turned face Abyss comes out for the save.

The crowd wants the "monsters" to clash, but they have to settle for a Black Hole Slam to Saeed.

Wrestling Society X Episode 7

Ricky Banderas cold opens the show by beating up Youth Suicide and powerbombing some jabroni off the band stage.

The monster mash of Vampiro and Ricky Banderas is finally set to place, but not till next episode.

Quietdrive are the guest commentators this, I'm guessing they were/are a band; I'm too indifferent to Google them.

Arik Cannon is out for revenge against The Cartel for shoving him in cement and putting a dead fish on him in episode 5. Helping him is Vic Grimes, complete with Godzilla Earth shaking effects.

Match breaks down to a schmoz as a mystery masked woman runs in to help Cannon and Grimes against the four man Cartel, but all the confusion leads to Grimes taking a pile of a pinfall.

Who has the mystery woman?

Sara Del Rey as "Nic Grimes"

Second match of the night is Human Tornado and Matt Sydal going spot for spot. Tornado's attempt at recruiting Lizzy Valentine, Sydal's girlfriend, to join his stable of Tornad-hoes doesn't work out for him.

Sydal gets the majority of offense in during this high-flying match, but he ends up losing after a clusterfuck storyline moment.

Lizzy has eyeballed Sydal's past opponents and she had a secret letter this week that Sydal couldn't see.

There's a post-match backstage segment with Syxx-Pac trying to comfort Lizzy while Sydal is finishing up a shower.

Pac went from attacking WSX champ Vampiro to trying to steal a guy's girlfriend.

Main event time and time not to blink, cause The Filth and the Fury(Teddy Hart and Matt Cross) are gonna dive, duck, dip, dodge, and......dive everywhere.

They look to extend their undefeated streak, but standing in their way are Kaos and the guy best known for stabbing John Cena in a nightclub, Aaron Aguilera.

Taking Disco Machine's disco ball comes back to haunt Aguilera, cause Teddy Hart splashes Cena-stabber and the mamacita holding onto the disco ball.

While Aguilera is thinking with the littler head, Kaos uses the bigger, breaking the disco ball on Matt Cross and ending The Filth and the Fury's streak. 

oh, and Teddy Hart tries to kill himself.